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fandomshatelgbtqpeople:

Hey, so there’s all those posts going around that say, “Gay aces are just as gay as everyone else!!” or “Being ace doesn’t make you any less of a lesbian <3” and that’s all true and important to know, but those posts have started being co-opted by exclusionists who really just mean “If you’re an ace lesbian, you should stop talking about being ace and adopt lesbian as your only identity,” so I wanted to make some things clear:

Being gay doesn’t make you any less ace. Being a lesbian doesn’t make you any less ace. Being bi doesn’t make you any less ace. Being pan doesn’t make you any less ace.

If you’re a gay/lesbian/bi/pan ace, it’s okay to talk about your asexuality. If you’re a gay/lesbian/bi/pan aro, it’s okay to talk about your aromanticism.  Neither of those experiences is inherently more important than the other. It’s okay if you identify more with being ace or aro than with being a wlw or a mlm. 

It’s okay to reblog ace memes or aro jokes and to be unapologetically aro or ace. Nothing about that is inherently homophobic. Using ace or aro terminology isn’t inherently homophobic. Being in a qpr or having a squish doesn’t invalidate you as a wlw or mlm. It’s okay to feel left out when you’re left out of “LGBT” memes or wlw moodboards because the op assumed that all women who are into women identify as lesbian, bi, or pan. 

If your primary identity is ace or aro, you can still be a wlw or a mlm. You belong in those spaces, and anyone trying to tell you to stop talking about your lack of sexual/romantic attraction because it’s “not a wlw/mlm experience” needs to look around them.

Many gay aces identify primarily as ace. Many lesbian aces identify primarily as ace. Many bi aces identify primarily as ace. Many pan aces identify primarily as ace. This is true of aces who are in same-gender relationships. It’s true of aces who have experienced significant homophobia. It’s okay to do that if you feel it’s right for you. 

I’m sorry there are so many people on this website trying to tell you that your identity and your flag don’t belong in spaces in which you unquestionably do. Don’t let anyone push you out of your community.

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